Eating Out

It’s the worst. Fantastic, unholy food laid out right in front of you. For an extra mental boost, check out this restaurant cheat-sheet.

P.S. Never fear, lovelies, our Fast Food Guide is coming up next. This is reserved for real restaurants: places where food isn’t described as “happy”.

1. MENU PAGES. If you live in or near New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston, Washington D.C., Miami or South Florida, or San Francisco, odds are you’ll be able to find the restaurant you’re going to. Read the menu BEFORE you leave the house. (menupages.com) Choose your meal and stick to it.
2. PUT DOWN THE BREAD. Don’t. Even. Touch. It. Especially if you’re shilling for an appetizer – you’re spending money on great food and you want to be able to enjoy it: save your appetite.
3. CHECK PORTIONS. It’s perfectly ordinary to order an appetizer or soup and a salad, as a complete meal. If you know the portions to be large (check citysearch.com to find reviews), consider this option. You can get the best meal without sacrifice. Otherwise, steel yourself to skip both bread and appetizer.
4. EAT SLOWLY AND DRINK WATER. This will slow your system down, and you’ll be able to tell the difference between hunger and gorging.
5. NEVER SKIP A MEAL. Don’t think that you’ll be better off if you don’t eat a thing until your date. You’ll be twice as likely to gorge, and then you’ll be wasting calories and pouring in the fat like a Byzantine.
6. SPLIT THE APPETIZER. If you order an appetizer, see if someone will split it with you. If not, look for clearly low-calorie foods, such as low-dairy vegetarian items, broth-based or tomato-based soups (free of words like “creamy”) such as minestrone or gazpacho.
7. GRILLED, BAKED, STEAMED, BROILED, or POACHED. These are the words you need to look for. Any entrée prepared in these manners will be healthier than other options because the cooking methods don’t require much added fat.
8. VEGGIES! Order lots of them. Watch the potatoes, of course, but if you desperately feel the need to pad your entrée, order plain and simple veggie sides. They’re assured to be guiltless. (Except for things like creamed spinach. But really, you haven’t eaten any bread…it’s not THAT bad).
9. SPLIT DESSERT AND BE GENEROUS. Let him eat most of it – his body resists fat naturally. If you can’t agree on a dessert and you simply must have something sweet, order the seasonal fruit plate or coffee with liqueur.
10. CHATTY CATHY. Don’t behave like a neurotic, but distract yourself with conversation. This is an opportunity to get involved in a dialogue: bring up stimulating topics; this is a chance for you to get to know a new friend, or have fun with an old friend. Conversation distracts from food.